1. I took a walk the other night and it was so cold I couldn’t move my fingers. I stayed out much longer than I should have, because it was better to be cold than to be sad.
2. I cut and dyed my hair, even got a piercing because I so badly didn’t want to be myself anymore. I’m trying to let go of that fragile girl I used to be, I never really liked her.
3. I tried to wash all the pain away but I just ended up lying down on the shower floor wanting to die.
4. I swallowed a handful of pills. I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s a lie, I knew exactly what I was thinking. I didn’t want to be sad anymore.
5. Sometimes I look through your pictures and this smile arranges itself on my face. But then I feel the massive empty space that you’re supposed to take up and the smile diminishes.
6. I play my favorite song and then I realize that your memory has stained it, and I can’t listen to it without crying.
7. I tried to love someone else. It didn’t really work out because while her laugh was lovely, yours caused earthquakes.
Some days I woke up and got out of bed and brushed my teeth like any normal human being; some days I woke up and lay in bed and looked at the ceiling and wondered what the hell the point was of getting out of bed and brushing my teeth like any normal human being.