cutmeopenslowly
1. I took a walk the other night and it was so cold I couldn’t move my fingers. I stayed out much longer than I should have, because it was better to be cold than to be sad.
2. I cut and dyed my hair, even got a piercing because I so badly didn’t want to be myself anymore. I’m trying to let go of that fragile girl I used to be, I never really liked her.
3. I tried to wash all the pain away but I just ended up lying down on the shower floor wanting to die.
4. I swallowed a handful of pills. I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s a lie, I knew exactly what I was thinking. I didn’t want to be sad anymore.
5. Sometimes I look through your pictures and this smile arranges itself on my face. But then I feel the massive empty space that you’re supposed to take up and the smile diminishes.
6. I play my favorite song and then I realize that your memory has stained it, and I can’t listen to it without crying.
7. I tried to love someone else. It didn’t really work out because while her laugh was lovely, yours caused earthquakes.
M.O.W, 7 ways I tried to eliminate my sadness (via imwritingpoems)